I · don't · know · these · people

I can't sleep.

this situation with my uncle bothers me so much. you see, in discussions with my mother as well as simply being realistic:

-in the weeks before his disappearance, he had mentioned he felt someone was following him
-that part of my family has always been involved in selling coke
-numerous kidnappings and disappearances have been found later, but very much to the finder's... displeasure, most believed to be Cartel related
-my mother's brother was shot 3 times in the stomach and lungs with hollow point bullets by an affiliate of the mexican mafia, dying a very short time later 11 years ago
-people who I'm told have been in contact with the cartel are saying "he might have gotten into some trouble or something" (roughly translated), my mother and my aunt (as in, his wife) believe they know his status and present whereabouts but don't have any proof.

I feel so fucked up about this. I've been not trying not think about it, telling myself "oh he ran off with some woman probably". He was kidnapped on his son's birthday. My 9 year old cousin is asking "where's my dad? he said he was gonna get me a dog". I can feel my stomach turning itself like some kind of indy 500 washer and dryer.

My mom says shes hopeful and will continue to be but the truth is, "these people don't kidnap people and let them go".

I can't do anything about it. Nobody else can either. My uncle is probably dead, and for our capabilities to make even a shred of this fucked up story right, we might as well be, too.

facebook allows me to be so nosey and I hate it
Ohhhhh growing up, you are so wonderful most of the time
even the bad times make good stories
and the pricker bushes always involve the heart!
my fav appendage! it loves too much for its own good

I miss school a lot
I miss Max a lot
I mean, breaking up wasn't going to change that
Our relationship was really always two friends who love each other

and I miss my friend so much :(

I MISS YOU TOO SOPHIE!!!!!!!!!

guuuwahhhhhhh xxxxooooo

8Mile for fa990tz:

J-Pain
Added March 2

You like this.
Jess Kim O
You always have the best shirts.
YES WE KHAN.

March 2 at 3:29pm
Justin Khan
YEA DIGG?!
J-PAIN, NEW MONEY!
Bz UP!

March 2 at 9:06pm
Daniel Terralheiro
YAHH SEEE MEEE
ALL DAY
RESPECT THAT HUSTLLEEE
CLAP CLAPPPPPPPPPPPP

March 2 at 9:07pm
Peter Dagher
J-PAIN ALL DAY EVERYDAY
NEW MONEY
B'Z UP
GOON SQUAD REPPIN
GETTIN THAT QUOP
DUNNN KNOWWWWW

Daniel Terralheiro
YOU ALREADY SEE THE TEAM
KEEP IT G
KEEP IT SLANGIN
REP THAT RED BANGN
LEVELLL THAT SHITTT
CUNT SWABBBB
March 2 at 9:39pm

Jess Kim O
BABY CHOCOLATE HANDS, YOU GOT FANS.
March 2 at 9:40pm

Daniel Terralheiro
CHOCOLATE RAIN, CHOCOLATE THUNDA
JKHAN MAKES THE BITCHES GO DOWN UNDAAA
March 2 at 9:41pm

Peter Dagher
YAH CANT SEE THE GOONZ
DUN KNOW ABOUT THE GOONZ
J-PAIN REPPIN DA B'Z ALL DAY ANY DAY
OWNIN SCHOOL AND OWNIN DETENTION
DUN KNOOOOOWWWWW
March 2 at 9:41pm

Daniel Terralheiro
WHO GOT BEEF WITH THE TEAM?
I PUT THE HAMMA TO FOOLS THAT BE STEPPIN
I MAKE BITCHES RUN BRAINS
ILL KILLL EM WITH THE MACK 11
I THROW SAND IN NIGGAZ FACES CAUSE I CAN... Read More
NO ONE TALKS SHIT CAUSE IM THA MAN
THINKING THAT YOU GOT THAT FLOW? I GOT THAT DRO
THAT WILL MAKE YOU THROW THEM ELBOWS
ALL DAY ERY DAY I HOLD THE RED RAG IN MY RIGHT HAND
KEEPIN PUSSIES OUTTA SITE WITH THA MAG MAN
March 2 at 9:44pm

Peter Dagher
DUN KNOWWWW

HALO ALL DAY EVERY DAY
March 2 at 9:49pm

Jess Kim O
NEW MONEY'S GOT COLOUR IN HIS HAT
GETS HIM HONEYS, JUST LIKE THAT
WITH A MASK TO MATCH.
TAKES IT OFF FOR SNATCH
HE'S BIG, YA' DIG?... Read More
HE DON'T REPENT
NOT EVEN FOR LENT
HE'S PITCHIN' A TENT
FOR THE HONEYS THAT LIKE THE BUNNIES
EASTER'S A COMIN', B'Z UP, HE DEMANDS
YEAH, NEW MONEY'S GONNA' WHIP OUT THOSE CADBURY HANDS
March 2 at 9:56pm

Daniel Terralheiro
AHAHAHAAHHAAHHAA THAT WASS SICKKK JESSS
March 2 at 9:58pm

Peter Dagher
haha, jess killed it. it's done.
March 2 at 9:59pm

Justin Khan
LMAO, GOON SQUAD FT. JESS.
March 2 at 10:06pm

Jess Kim O
Goons can have tits, baby.
March 2 at 10:19pm

oh and my uncle's been kidnapped, presumably by the mexican mafia.

umm

Why am I always asking theoretical questions?

hello!

things:

-live in santa monica
-I changed my major to computer science. though I have to start over cuz I've only taken art classes, I'm fine with it because it's way more likely to put me in a position of changing the world (eventually, sheesh)
-I am about to go to new york city for the first time in my life. I have always always always wanted to go. I am so excited I might...pee a little when reminded of the fact in any setting...okay not but I'm super fucking down.
-I just pwned some bitch via e-mail because she was trying to preach to me about adopting a dog rather than breeding. I've adopted all of my animals, why can't I share the joy of parenthood with a cute dog? I made a craigslist post about breeding Giuseppe, and this bitch e-mailed me telling me not to. She told me I don't care about the dog and that all I care about is the money I would get from selling the puppies, even though I stated that I have no intention of selling any of the puppies (fuck that, I'm raisin a family!)

Either be my actual friend (with benefits) or LEAVE ME THE FUCK ALONE; please.

Oh, and I have two job interviews next week, each one with a different bank across the street from each other. Kinda funny. :) Can't guarantee that they won't go the way of my teaching interviews (duds) but hey, they're interviews, and my degree has to count for something where the minimum requirement is a high school diploma or equivalent.

I'm trying to keep my mind off the economy ... it's hard as hell to not start to blame it when it feels like I'm not having any luck ... fact is, it is the economy. Barf. :/

If anyone has a bit of Felix for me ... !

Oh, speaking of which, I saw the new Harry Potter during the midnight showing ... get there two hours early and hung out with my man in our perfect seats.

Yeah, I coulda pee m'self. I fxxking love this story.

I'm in the middle of the last book and will literally break down crying if ANYONE or anything spoils it for me, accidentally or otherwise.

Okay, I'm being a little dramatic. But I can't promise that wouldn't actually happen.